I think maybe I can't call myself Christian anymore.
I'm sitting here in my church office as I write this. It is a wonderful place, this building and campus. It is full of promise and prayer, faith and challenge. It widens my horizons and takes me deep along paths I otherwise wouldn't think to follow.
My faith serves me well, and inspires me to serve the One and creation. It is Jesus, this church, its people, and my God as I experience God that compel me to break my simmering silence.
I am tired.
- I am tired of new acquaintances assuming that, because I am a CHRISTIAN pastor, I must also be a fellow-denier of scientific process. No, I don't believe the earth was created in six days and is only 6000 years old. Yes, I do think evolutionary theory is sound. No, this doesn't make me any less a believer than you.
- I am tired of reading that no CHRISTIAN can accept the "homosexual lifestyle." Yes, I do accept as Godly any loving, supportive, inspiring relationship between equal parties. No, I don't believe the government should step in and bar some people from sanctifying relationships in the faith communities that embrace and encourage them. Yes, I realize some Biblical texts are quite clear in forbidding tattoos, shellfish consumption, mixed-material garments and homosexuality. No, I don't read and respond to the Bible the same way you do.
- I am tired of those lazy news commentators who accept CHRISTIAN as some sort behemoth voting block to be played like a harp by particular candidates for political office. I vote my convictions, not my church! We do not all move in lock-step.
- I am tired of bejeweled, self-serving leaders of CHRISTIAN churches lording it over their flocks with perverse indifference to the Gospel message. Preservation of power, prestige, buildings and bank accounts must never take precedence over the faith and well-being of any child of God.
- I am tired of the commentators and bloggers of the world who consider human CHRISTIAN stupidity to be some sort of proof of the non-existence of God. God is not a Christian. Jesus is not a Christian. Neither should be mocked because of the occasional clueless idiocy of believers.
CHRISTIAN wasn't a term used by Jesus and his followers. They were first "People of the Way." I am striving to be a Person of Jesus' Way. I'm thinking that following Jesus as closely as possible might mean I can no longer call myself CHRISTIAN.
What do you think?
I didn't expect change to come so slow, so agonizingly slow. I didn't realize that the biggest obstacle to political and social progress wasn't the Free Masons, or the Establishment, or the boot heel of whatever you consider "the Man" to be. It was something much more subtle... a combination of our own indifference and the Kafka-esque labyrinth of "no's" you encounter as people vanish down the corridors of bureaucracy. -- Bono
And it is ALL of your beliefs that make your sermons so thought provoking to us (well, ME anyway). Keep it up Corey!
ReplyDeleteWhenever I see Christ being used as a brand name, I think of Mary's experience in John's resurrection gospel, "...they have taken my Lord and I don't know they've put him." Rigid thinking, bitterness, judgmentalism, ignorance and self-righteousness have stolen Christ away from those who need to hear his message of unconditional love and forgiveness. Maybe we should refer to ourselves as 'wayfarers?' Thanks for the challenge, Corey!
ReplyDeleteWayfarers... I really like that.
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow minister, I completely sympathize having said much the same thing many times over. In fact, it was for these reasons that I left ministry for 2 years and fiercely resisted returning. I left to save my soul - giving up our home, our health insurance, our income - but determined to free my faith from the confines of a definition of "church" that was just counter to who I was - and who I believed Jesus to be.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, though, I find myself outdone, outmaneuvered and outplayed by a God with a lot more time, a lot more patience, and a lot less concern for my bank account - and I'm back at it.
I have re-entered though, with a more hard-edged (not hardened - just hard-EDGED) approach to bringing a playful joy to the very clear task of connecting the church to the neighborhood and the people to the holy. I am enjoying being part-time as it has certain built-in boundaries and a focusing effect.
But back to your comments - I get sick of all that too. All of it. And, I think the best I can say is - ignore it. Focus on what is for you the joyful good news - the inclusiveness, the mystery, the adventure, the challenge - and to h*** with the rest. Let God breathe fresh air through you to unburden the rest of those around you who are feeling much the same, though may not have yet formulated it in words. Life is too short to people define it for you. Follow where God is calling you and if God is calling others to follow you there - they will. Shalom.
Yes, this is why I stopped calling myself "Christian"- because unless someone knows me well already, they might equate me with either the hijacked rightwing political version of Christianity or with the media-promoted version of Christianity as capitalist endeavor, buying your way to salvation.
ReplyDeleteIf you act now and send a gift of at least $____ dollars, a place at the right hand of God will be reserved for you exclusively for eternity. Plus, we'll send you this gold-leaf inscribed red leather Holy Bible to you at no added expense.
In my mind, in my heart, when I see what is being presented to the non-familiar public as Christianity, my suspicions range from "they just don't get it" to a more cynical "they are using something holy and beautiful to advance their own selfish interests."
To be Christian in the literal sense is to follow the example of Christ in your thoughts and actions- a difficult but fulfilling way to guide oneself. And I stress the solitary nature of that choice. I believe one should lead oneself in their path of faith primarily, and not give up one's reason and better judgment to be led by others. I believe in the pastor as shepherd, as guide and advisor- not as dictator, authoritarian or infallible supernatural icon.
So it could go without saying that I believe in my brother.
That all resonates pretty clearly with me too, Corey. I think of the Gandhi quote about liking Jesus, but not liking Christians very much, because they are so unlike their Christ. Or even Bill Mahr--outspoken as he is against religion, and maybe particularly Christianity--who still says that Jesus was as good a role model as he can imagine, if only someone would try to act like him. Or Reggie McNeal ("The Present Future: Six Tough Questions for the Church") who says what most churchgoers today practice isn't Christianity, but rather is "Churchianity"--an exclusive club-mentality that pretty much ignores the Gospel's call to mission entirely, in service to itself...
ReplyDeleteI find myself using "Christ-follower" rather than Christian quite a bit. I don't know if that makes much difference in other's ears--but for ME, it is an attempt to keep clear that I am following him, rather than being loyal to an institution that grew in his wake.
It is frustrating. Remember the ad "This isn't your parent's Oldsmobile"? When I think of my church, I want to shout "This isn't your parents' church!" Unfortunately, some days we are exactly that. On good days, I see us becoming something better.
How to deal with the frustration? Make the distinctions wherever we can--speaking truth in love. Try not to hate back. And focus on the immediate...one act of kindness; one non-judgmental interaction; one relationship built at a time.
Breathe deep, feel the sunshine, and know you aren't alone, my friend!
Lately I've been reading Phillip Kapleau's Three Pillars of Zen, and I reached the chapter where he talks about the practice of meditating to move ourselves to our "Buddha-nature," the recognition that each and every one of us are already Buddha's. This goes beyond simply, "being Buddhist" but the actual manner in which we each ARE Buddha we just have to "awaken" to it. We all have the potential to open our minds to the interconnection, (or Thich Naht Hahn calls, "interbeing,") that we each have that impacts our entire human being.
ReplyDeleteI think about this idea of being a "Christian" and I wonder is there really a need for a title, or designation? If you think about the original followers of Christ, what were they called? If memory serves me well the term Christian didn't come around until after he died (I could be wrong though!. Titles, terms, words, all generate meaning making and are subject to other's interpretations anyway. It's like Kendall said, those who don't know him already create an image in their mind about what his being a Christian is depending on what THEY know. I agree with what Steve said, it seems the idea originally, similar to being the Buddha, we must find our way to "being Christ", and each awaken to our "Christ-nature." I think that goes beyond whether we're church going Christians, meditating Buddhists, or nature worshiping Wiccans, I think it's doing faith than simply saying you have faith. It's about making the choices on who you choose to "be" and the actions you make than aligning yourself to what other's prescribe to you.
I think this approach to "faith in action" is like the blind oracle in O Brother Where Art Thou?, "I've got no name, I work for no man!"
No designation, no denomination,no one directing just "being" the nature that we already are, simply by knowing that we are.
If I affirm myself as a Catholic merely by denying all that is Muslim, Jewish, Protestant, Hindu, Buddhist, etc., in the end I will find that there is not much left for me to affirm as a Catholic: and certainly no breath of the Spirit with which to affirm it.
ReplyDelete- Thomas Merton, from his book, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander
Such a cogent quote from such a gracious believer (may he rest in peace).
Thanks for your profound, supportive thoughts, all. Keep 'em coming!
Two thoughts:
ReplyDelete+"When I choose a word… it means just what I choose it to mean… neither more nor less." (Humpty Dumpty, aka Lewis Carroll)
+Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. (John 15:15 KJV)
Corey, one of the things that I find to be empowering in such situations (both within the Church and outside of it) is to own, take on, and claim so-called negative labels and make them into badges of honor. For example, I'm a left-wing-bleeding-heart-liberal who just happens to be a Christian (or vice-versa). I'm a queer faggot who just happens to be an Episcopal priest (or vice-versa). I'm a progressive who is spiritually minded (or vice-versa). And so on....
ReplyDeleteWhen we allow labels to become the means by which we identify ourselves (and each other), we cheapen the images and symbolism for which these labels stand. When I'm being an authentic person (or priest, or gay man, or liberal, etc.), I do my best to honor the persons for whom these labels stand, letting the labels serve as the lesser of the two, and empowering the label to point to the greater whole for which it stands. It's hard work, admittedly. But I know that it is the work to which we are all called - not just us clergy-types!
I resonate so much with your weariness. I empathize with your thoughts to abandon the identity of "Christian." As someone who has been overly (and overtly) wounded by the Church/church, I can attest to the pain that comes with a continued association with it (and I recognize that there are as many pains that come from within it as there are from outside of it). But I affirm your decision to stand over and against the conspiracy to degrade the whole of Christianity into being "some sort behemoth voting block to be played like a harp by particular candidates for political office" (I totally *LOVE* that turn of phrase!). You go, Guy!
I, too, am tired. It isn't any small wonder that we are tired. On top of the privilege of being invited into other peoples' lives (their pain, their joy, their sorrow, their fear, their doubt, their decisions, and so on...), we who are the clergy in this faith tradition also must bear the burdens of being maligned and equated with unthinking, restrictive, exclusive, elitist, sexist, homophobic, racist people who brandish the Bible as a weapon to support their excuse for protological thinking, hatred, fear-mongering and the like. It takes true soul-wrenching work to gracefully differentiate ourselves from that which so many have reduced Christianity into. And you are doing it; I can see that just by this one blog entry!
Keep the faith, my friend... and spread it. And, when you are weary, never shy away from finding support from like-minded people! I, for one, stand at the ready to be that support for you and anyone else who is weary in this ongoing struggle to live our lives as being a Christian without bearing that baggage that too often has been associated with that word.
A pilgrim with you in The Way,
David
Corey,
ReplyDeleteYou and I have had this discussion. I too, have difficulty calling my self "Christian." It saddens me to think how the word "Christian" has been co-opted to mean something that has, in my mind, nothing to do with following the way that Jesus showed us.
I cringe whenever someone asks me if I am a "Christian". "What do you mean by that?" I ask. They usually respond, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?" Again, I ask, "What do you mean by that?"
Could it be that the way that Jesus showed us is harder than people are willing to accept? Truly following the way is not an easy road. It's much easier to call yourself a "Christian" than to follow the path of Christ.
Thanks for opening up this dialogue. I too am a pilgrim with you in The Way.
Joan
Interesting post. Not really what I would expect from a pastor.
ReplyDelete"My faith serves me well, and inspires me to serve the One and creation"
Since I consider myself an atheist, I am not sure what you mean?
I generally do not pay too much attention to religous discussions but your lines on fb caught my eye and I started reading your blog. Interestiong wiews and thoughts and also with an insight of the human persona.
Thanks for giving my day an intellectual challenge. Even though I do not agree with your beliefs I agree with what you say. Corny? To me it is clear anyway.
Take Care and thanks, Corey.
// Håkan Pohl
Hey, Hakan!
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining in, my friend. Wish I could find that funky circly oomlat thingy you have over the first "a" in your name!
I'm a little weird as a pastor, I admit, but there are certainly many like me (or even weirder) out there and on this blog. It's just that we don't have the microphone, so we are sort of under the radar for those outside the faith.
When I say "my faith serves me well, and inspires me to serve the One and creation," I mean "the One" to be God as I encounter God. This God is, for me, a living, present reality in all of life. I expect to encounter my God moving and working in some form in, around and through all I meet (even my friends who are atheists).
This understanding of God is such that I don't have to go about converting folks to my way of thinking. Nothing hurts faith more than religion arrogantly argued!
Ken, thanks for sharing the Lewis Carroll quote in particular. In these interesting times it sometimes feel like we've all fallen down the rabbit hole!
Wendy, David, Joan and Steve: It's not just me, is it?
Kendall, Kristin, Brenda and anonymous, thanks for your deep thoughts. "Christ as a brand name" will definitely PREACH!
I have to agree with Kendall when it comes to calling myself Christian.
ReplyDeleteI believe you - Corey - are a reflection of the church and family you were raised in and now guide. You are not only an understanding and committed man of God but with your accepting and loving ways a great example of what every one of us should strive to be....regardless of our religious, political or scientific views.