Rev. Corey Keyes' Big Announcement

Thank you all for coming. I have a brief announcement, then I will field your questions.

I have decided against seeking the nomination to run for President of the United States in 2012. I repeat: I will not seek the presidency in 2012.

Several months of exploration, day after day of fervent prayer, and a six-pack of Labatt’s Blue all went into this decision, which is final. Here are my solemn vowels… the reasons I will not run:

America needs a strong leader, now more than ever: an individual of singular vision, steel-spined determination and bold action.

That ain’t me. It is not uncommon for me to spend ten minutes in the cereal aisle debating the pros and cons of Post versus store brand.  Any “Special Interest” lobbyist, corporate multi-nationalist or international terrorist appearing at the Oval Office door with a cute l’il abandon kitten  would get whatever they want from me, especially if the international terrorist was three feet tall, wore pigtails and spoke with a slight lithp.

Elitism has run rampant in the Oval Office.

And THAT is a very good thing. In the 222 year history of the U.S. Presidency, only 44 men have held the post. The President of the United States is the single most powerful human being on planet earth. Elite is a given. Please, let him/her hold a degree from a university that wouldn’t accept my application for a parking pass. Let him/her speak four languages. May he/she have no idea who Snooki is. Let him/her be smarter, more successful and far more erudite than I could ever hope to be.

Elite I am not, and elite the president must be.

Informed individuals only need apply.

As ashamed as I am to admit it, I get most of my news from NPR, PBS and the BBC, so I spent my morning watching the Network news shows this a.m., just to see how out-of-touch with the American people I have allowed myself to become.

Did you know that someone named Justin Bieber got a haircut?!? People are, like,  all “OH MY GAWD!” He lost 80,000 Twitter followers over it!

And not only that, Charlie Sheen is now dating a mystery blonde with a history in graphic…design?!? And, like, Kate and Prince William are really going just cuh-razy planning their wedding, while perfectly adorable and notoriously mischievous Prince Harry is planning the Bachelor Party?!? And Sarah Palin is all, like, “whateverrrr…” over this book her former BFF is writing about how absolutely SKANK she really is?

I didn’t know these matters of greatest importance to the American people, as NPR, PBS and BBC fritter away my precious time with distracting reports of two American-led wars, revolutionary meltdowns in Northern Africa and the Middle East, national and international economic crises,  renewed labor struggles funded by the Koch brothers, and the role of new media in the spread of democratic ideals, perhaps reducing the influence of Islamic extremism. (Honestly, how ironic that the only way to miss all the coverage of the royal wedding is to watch the BRITISH Broadcasting Corporation?!?)

I’m just too  poorly informed and out of touch with the American people, I guess.

Overactive bladder  Um... 'nuff said? 


Underdog 9 a.m. every Friday morning on the Cartoon Network. Cabinet meetings  and tense, eleventh hour negotiations would have to wait until I knew Sweet Polly Purebread was absolutely safe.

So there you have it in a nutshell. I will not seek the nomination, and, if nominated, I will not run, and, if I run, I will not win, and, if I win, I will not serve, and if I serve, I will not… I think you get the picture.

All this to say, I think I’d make a really poor president. What kind of president would you be? Huh?

Stand Up, Stand Out

Standing Up, Standing Out

…to act faithfully is a matter of your own choice. -- Sirach 15:15

I just watched the most astounding movie. Temple Grandin is a stunning portrayal (by the incredible Claire Danes) of a real person; her genius and her autism. We will be showing this movie at our church this Saturday evening at 7 p.m. in our Christian Ed wing. Please come. The showing will be part of a weekend devoted to a central concept we carry with us in our ministry at West Bloomfield UCC:

Community, not conformity.

We will continue with this concept in worship Sunday at 10 a.m., and with a give-and-take information session for those considering joining our church at 11 a.m.

I believe religious movements often go awry in the insistence that everyone think, believe and do the exact same thing.  Narrow conformity is stilting, anti-creative and paralyzing, and is nothing like what Jesus meant when he spoke of “the narrow gate and hard road that leads to life,” (Matthew 7:13 – smack dab in the middle of the sermon in which he begins with “judge not, lest ye be judged,” moves on to the Golden Rule, and ends with an admonition not to simply say ‘Lord, Lord’ and go about casting out what we perceive as other people’s ‘demons,’ as if that is what he asks of us. No, clearly from the context of the full pericope, Jesus is calling us through the narrow gate that strips off our pride, self-promotion and grandiose self-perceptions. The gate is narrow, preventing us from carrying our own extraneous baggage through it, making us better traveling companions on the hard road beyond!).

If we are, indeed, pilgrims on a journey, how much better the trip if we accept, encourage and celebrate each other and ourselves. The movie documents how Temple met resistance at every turn, but also had a handful of people in her life who encouraged her, helped open new doors for her, and saw beyond the quirks and awkward manners to the brilliance of her strange ideas. To do this with the Temple Grandins in our own lives is not without risk, heart-ache and frustration. Things don’t always work according to plan when we open ourselves to other. But Christ tells us over and over again to risk it anyway. Life is far richer for such openness.

I am very proud of this faith community I pastor. We are a loose amalgamation of outlooks and beliefs. We are not like-minded in the traditional sense, but we are LIKE-minded in the sense that our first impulse is to LIKE each other (not regardless of difference, but, rather, with a high regard for difference).  Every stranger we welcome in adds to the beauty of the community, carrying experiences and perceptions that are unique and uniquely compelling.

A building is a box, but a church is a community:

We come with beautiful secrets

We come with purposes written on our hearts, written on our souls

We come to every new morning

With possibilities only we can hold, that only we can hold

Redemption comes in strange place, small spaces

Calling out the best of who we are

And I want to add to the beauty

To tell a better story

I want to shine with the light

That's burning up inside

It comes in small inspirations

It brings redemption to life and work

To our lives and our work

It comes in loving community

It comes in helping a soul find it's worth

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces

Calling out the best of who we are

And I want to add to the beauty

To tell a better story

I want to shine with the light

That's burning up inside

This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful

This is grace, an invitation

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces

Calling out our best

And I want to add to the beauty

To tell a better story

I want to shine with the light

That's burning up inside

Sara Groves, Add to the Beauty, © 2005 INO Records LLC