Religion and Science Meet for a Beer

Religion and Science meet for a beer.

Science says “Who’d’ve thought you’d meet me here.

Your wild-eyed followers scream ‘demon rum!’

They picket the pub and hatchet the drum.”

Religion just smiles and says “I thought you knew,

We both claim the guys who made the best brew.

My monks used your knowledge to perfect hops and yeast

And this glorious drink holds no ‘mark of the beast.’ ”

You don’t blame me and I won’t blame you.

People are people. They do what they do.

Blackpowder clears pathways for life-giving trains,

They use it for bullets to blow out their brains.

You give them fission and they build their bombs.

I give them Goddess, they bitch-slap their moms.

People are people. They do what they do.

You don’t blame me and I won’t blame you.

Religion and Science meet at the school.

Science says “hey, this is no place for you.

Your people deny what’s in front of their face

Shout down fact and theory, refute time and space.”

Religion concurs, “I know that is so,

But there’s still a bit more of that story to show.

Mohammedans once charted math and the stars.

Newton found Physics; Egyptian priests, Mars."

You don’t blame me and I won’t blame you.

People are people. They do what they do.

I give them new heights, they leap to their death,

You give them cold meds, they make crystal meth.

I lay down the law: ‘love all whom you meet,’

So they kill from a distance and don’t miss a beat.

People are people. They do what they do.

You don’t blame me and I won’t blame you.

Religion and Science meet at the church.

Religion is shocked, “you’re here at my perch?!?”

Science falls to its knees “I’ve had quite enough,

I can’t build a way to solve all this stuff!”

Religion cracks open a Psych 1-0-1 text,

“I was counting on you to save me from this mess!”

And there we must leave them: theory and oath.

Eliminate either: we die without both.

(C)2012 Corey Keyes