Obama Elitist: Refuses Use of Thesaurus

The controversy continues to threaten to boil over in Pennsylvania in response to Sen. Barack Obama's description of small town residents here as “bitter,” an atrocious political gaffe that jeopardizes his very candidacy.

“It's outrageous,” said Joe Mocalotz of Pottsville, who was laid off when a local textile mill moved operations to China. “Sure, I had my home foreclosed, lost my health insurance and can't feed my hungry children. I'm angry...even disillusioned. But bitter? Obama is out of touch with small town America.”

Leanne Johnston of East Brady agrees.

“My husband lost both legs on his third tour of duty in a war we shouldn't be fighting.” Johnston offers. “It took us forever to get any benefits. We had to move in with my mother, and I can't find anything that pays above minimum wage. We can't afford to heat the house and have gone through all our savings. We feel betrayed, forgotten, frustrated... not bitter! He should know better. oh, what an ugly word!”

It's a sentiment that is echoed throughout this depressed, rust-belt state. As more and more factories and small businesses fold under the pressure of spiralling fuel costs and unfair trade and labor practices, leaving families clinging desperately to whatever slim reason for hope they can find, how one parses one's speech has become understandably crucial. The groundswell of disenchantment with Obama has eclipsed once-critical issues like Senator Clinton's use of a yellow pantsuit and Senator McCain's infamous “I like to barbeque” remark.

“Bitter?” asked bankrupt businessman Tom Cosack of Allentown, with barely contained contempt. “Not me. I'm disenchanted, disenfranchised, dispeptic and distraught. Honestly, if Senator Obama thinks he's too good for a simple thesaurus, how can he possibly have any idea what I'm going through?”