How Do You Make Love Stay?

Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love; and then, for a second time in the history of the world, humanity will have discovered fire. -- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Ah, the power of love. That's what Christ offers to us. All this talk of coming again to judge the living and the dead... OK, fine. But with what shall Christ judge the living and the dead? LOVE. And on what basis will we be judged? How well and completely and actively we LOVE. Whoomp, there it is.

I'm not one to artificially separate romantic love (Eros-ish love) from brotherly love (agape-ish love). Truth is, there is nothing more romantic than having a healthy amount of agape mixed in with your Eros To be smitten and on fire with passion is a marvelous thing. To care deeply and work diligently for the spiritual, emotional and physical well-being of the one for whom you feel passion makes that passion even better. However, I do agree it is best not to be inflamed with passion for anyone besides your intended. That would turn church dinners into Melrose Place or much, much worse. True, it would boost attendance for awhile, but, oy, that couldn't end well! Agape without Eros, yes. Eros without agape, no.

To finish the romantic love tangent, when Dan Fogelberg or some other pop singer croons the question “How do you make love stay?”I believe the answer is simple: pay closer attention to your agape (respect, care, compassion, encouragement), and the missing Eros might still come around from time to time. To borrow another Fogelberg-ism, the fire will, indeed, start to mellow through the years. But it can still flare up from time to time with a bit of stoking, so long as you've kept the hearth aglow. Nuff said on that topic?

So, no matter how you are thinking of love at the moment (agape or Eros) let's see if the following lesson will apply. This is a bit from Paul, from his first love letter to the church in Thessalonica. I believe this is Paul's earliest preserved letter...the freshest after his conversion from persecutor of “the People of the Way,” to “Person of the Way” himself. It is full of brotherly affection and friendly advice. It is obvious he deeply loves these folks, and why wouldn't he? Paul first came to Thessalonica after being roundly abused in Phillipi. They loved and listened to him. A church was formed. Paul healed up spiritually and physically among them, then went on his way and was repeatedly stymied in his attempts to get back to visit the ol' neighborhood. So he sent Timothy in his place. Then he wrote this letter to them. In the fifth chapter he says this about sticking together in the hard times to come...that is, making love stay:

5:16 Rejoice always, 5:17 pray without ceasing, 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 5:19 Do not quench the Spirit. 5:20 Do not despise the words of prophets, 5:21 but test everything; hold fast to what is good; 5:22 abstain from every form of evil. 5:23 May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful, and will do this.

This reading is remarkable to me, giving in terse sentences the simple instructions for best following together a path of faith-to-wholeness in spirit, body and mind. Here are Paul's rules for a life of love that STAYS:

1. Stay positive (5:16) be happy when they walk through the door,





2. Stay reverent (5:17) really ask God to bless them,





3. Stay grateful (5:18) sincerely thank God for them,





4. Stay energized (5:19) be wings, not dead weight





5. Stay open-minded (5:20) seek the good and Godly, not strife and controversy
   
   
   


6. Stay grounded (5:21a) don't simply shut down, exchange thinking and ideas fully, honestly





7. Stay close to good (5:21b) keep your good/God bearings





8. Stay far from bad(5:22) don't drift into bitterness, gossip, judgmentalism, anger or fear





9. Stay focused (5:23) keep stoking your soul, continually tend to your own relationship with God





10. Stay faithful (5:24) when God blesses you, you can really, really bless others.

Why should we do these things? So God will love us best? NO! So God will love THROUGH us, that we can love better!!! When we are of generous heart and mind, those around us thrive. Don't be stingy with the true love. Open your heart to the “other” (yes, especially the ones in that other group, over there!), because the truth is, there IS NO OTHER. There's only us and God.

Don't give in to the impulse to separate, complicate, obfuscate. Share the love where you are. How do you make love stay? By making more love where you're staying!